riding through this tunnel is what i am looking forward to the most.
check out the view at the end. amazing.
Monday, January 26, 2009
bicycle poem
my father introduced the bicycle
a new world was offered
self propulsion
self reliance
pride in ones self
blue
blue like a turquoise bird
old and used, heavy and creaking
it had the charm i was after
giving up the keys
letting my legs
my strength
my courage
my imagination let me explore a world
within range
widening the distance
planning destinations that seem out of reach
proving
hoping
dreaming
a reach for change
marijuana poem
being stoned feels so fine
being stoned frees my mind
being stoned brings relief
being stoned sheds the grief
being stoned sounds better
being stoned feels better
being stoned tastes the best
being stoned lets you see the rest
share it
love it
smoke it
bake it
grow it
my father introduced the bicycle
a new world was offered
self propulsion
self reliance
pride in ones self
blue
blue like a turquoise bird
old and used, heavy and creaking
it had the charm i was after
giving up the keys
letting my legs
my strength
my courage
my imagination let me explore a world
within range
widening the distance
planning destinations that seem out of reach
proving
hoping
dreaming
a reach for change
marijuana poem
being stoned feels so fine
being stoned frees my mind
being stoned brings relief
being stoned sheds the grief
being stoned sounds better
being stoned feels better
being stoned tastes the best
being stoned lets you see the rest
share it
love it
smoke it
bake it
grow it
Sunday, January 25, 2009
I really prefer being called "Matthew"
"matt" sounds like a noise an animal would make.
"matt-matt" sounds like two animal noises.
"matty" reminds me of a creepy band director who used to exclusively call me that.
"reate" is my last name, and although distinct its still my last name. i'm not in the military or a detective.
"Matthew" is comforting to me, its what my mother and sister have always called me. Even after other family members transitioned from "matt=matt" to just "matt".
this whole blog stems from a dream i had last night. repetition is something that scares the shit out of me. a couple hallucinogenic experiments has really cemented this fear. in the dream people were repeating "matt" and after awhile all those people repeating would start to overlap another until it became deafening and a singular sound. it was horrible, this sound of "meahhhhh" and the surrounding "teh" sounds.
i started introducing myself as "matthew" years ago but "matt" still persists to surround me. i try not to care too much during my day to day but that dream was fucking terrifying.
On another note:
budgeting didnt go exactly as well as planned. i get paid on thursday, the big one.
"matt" sounds like a noise an animal would make.
"matt-matt" sounds like two animal noises.
"matty" reminds me of a creepy band director who used to exclusively call me that.
"reate" is my last name, and although distinct its still my last name. i'm not in the military or a detective.
"Matthew" is comforting to me, its what my mother and sister have always called me. Even after other family members transitioned from "matt=matt" to just "matt".
this whole blog stems from a dream i had last night. repetition is something that scares the shit out of me. a couple hallucinogenic experiments has really cemented this fear. in the dream people were repeating "matt" and after awhile all those people repeating would start to overlap another until it became deafening and a singular sound. it was horrible, this sound of "meahhhhh" and the surrounding "teh" sounds.
i started introducing myself as "matthew" years ago but "matt" still persists to surround me. i try not to care too much during my day to day but that dream was fucking terrifying.
On another note:
budgeting didnt go exactly as well as planned. i get paid on thursday, the big one.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Budgeting has never been anything I've been remotely good at. Today marked the first day of me actually trying.
12.88 a day is my budget for this pay period. I only spent $8. Not bad...not bad.
Im hoping if all goes to plan I can welcome a puppy to the house in a month or two.
On a totally unrelated note:
The clashes "straight to hell" is much better than M.I.A.
Straight To Hell - The Clash
On another random note:
I have started to think about the fact of this blog being linked to from both my "spaces". There are people on there that I havent talked to in a while and who I felt obligated to accept fried requests from. I started to wonder what they might find on this blog, things they might find suprising or sad. I dont feel like I should have to put a disclaimer on this blog for them but theres still apart of me that worries. I worry that because they havent had the opportunity to talk to me one on one in a long time, they might start filling in gaps or get the wrong idea.
I'm not proud of everything I do in my life but I also wouldnt take any of it back. I am who I am for what I have seen and done. Life should not be lived with regrets, its too short. I am happy with my life right now and the direction I am going. Although my goals have changed dramatically from just after high school till now I do believe I am getting a clearer picture of my future.
For anyone interested to know what it is I am working towards Ill gladly tell you. I want to build bikes and blow ornate glass. I want to own property and build a farm (house and windmills included). I want to own a bike shop/glass shop in a town or city within riding distance, entirely filled with my designed bikes and glass. I want to grow all my own vegetables and raise my own chickens and other animals. I want to grow my own marijuana and become a medical distributer with strains created by myself.
I hope to one day have a spouse and maybe even children...adoption seems more logical to me. I dont want to legally marry somebody though, unless I could obtain foriegn citizenship. I want to ride around the world one day. I'm starting a new tradition for myself this year by riding to Yosemite and want to increase the distance of the trip every year untill one day I can make the complete loop around the globe. I want to make sure my parents are comfortable in thier senior years. I would love to one day start a human rights organization.
These are some of the goals I could think of on the spot. I'm a dreamer and I do this kind of thinking a lot. I hope this shed some light on what my intentions are in life.
Next blog...how the bicycle and marijuana changed my life
12.88 a day is my budget for this pay period. I only spent $8. Not bad...not bad.
Im hoping if all goes to plan I can welcome a puppy to the house in a month or two.
On a totally unrelated note:
The clashes "straight to hell" is much better than M.I.A.
Straight To Hell - The Clash
On another random note:
I have started to think about the fact of this blog being linked to from both my "spaces". There are people on there that I havent talked to in a while and who I felt obligated to accept fried requests from. I started to wonder what they might find on this blog, things they might find suprising or sad. I dont feel like I should have to put a disclaimer on this blog for them but theres still apart of me that worries. I worry that because they havent had the opportunity to talk to me one on one in a long time, they might start filling in gaps or get the wrong idea.
I'm not proud of everything I do in my life but I also wouldnt take any of it back. I am who I am for what I have seen and done. Life should not be lived with regrets, its too short. I am happy with my life right now and the direction I am going. Although my goals have changed dramatically from just after high school till now I do believe I am getting a clearer picture of my future.
For anyone interested to know what it is I am working towards Ill gladly tell you. I want to build bikes and blow ornate glass. I want to own property and build a farm (house and windmills included). I want to own a bike shop/glass shop in a town or city within riding distance, entirely filled with my designed bikes and glass. I want to grow all my own vegetables and raise my own chickens and other animals. I want to grow my own marijuana and become a medical distributer with strains created by myself.
I hope to one day have a spouse and maybe even children...adoption seems more logical to me. I dont want to legally marry somebody though, unless I could obtain foriegn citizenship. I want to ride around the world one day. I'm starting a new tradition for myself this year by riding to Yosemite and want to increase the distance of the trip every year untill one day I can make the complete loop around the globe. I want to make sure my parents are comfortable in thier senior years. I would love to one day start a human rights organization.
These are some of the goals I could think of on the spot. I'm a dreamer and I do this kind of thinking a lot. I hope this shed some light on what my intentions are in life.
Next blog...how the bicycle and marijuana changed my life
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A little life updating.
NYE was a wild blast. The party started off kinda weird, Brent was in North Carolina but 3 of his friends showed up early. They were drunk already for the most part and unfortunatley just did not blend in well with the rest of the crowd. There was one guy who was the most ridiculous. He had this odd 30something rockabilly/bro thing going on. ADD was something he never got undercontrol in his earlier life. They left after they had a few shots of my buddys whisky and took a couple beers without asking.
The rest of the night was interesting and I dont remember much. Everyone enjoyed themselves, some a little too much and the last people left at 7:30 in the morning. I woke up next to Michael Miler which was a little weird but I was so hungover I couldnt care. Later in the afternoon all the stragglers woke up and we smoked on the balconey. This balconey will be in my dreams when I am 80, its got such character and unique view that I will never forget. After smoking herb we found scattered around the house we all passed out again on my mega-bed and woke up around 5:30. Michael, Anthony and I proceeded to drive downtown to get my paycheck. After going on a citywide search looking for a moneytree that was open we conceeded and went to Buenas Dias. Good god that was the best burrito ever. Shannanana was with us and so we went back to my place where we hung out with Joey and the kids, I think Thomas may have come over too but my memory is a little shakey.
After New Years I got a promotion at work to "keyholder". Its kind of a glorified, higher paid cashier position but I am excited anyways. Its guaranteed 40 hours which is important and exciting. A couple days ago Emily and I figured out a real working budget and I am determined to follow it. It looks comfortable and safe, something I havent felt with finances in a long time.
Nigel is becoming a really interesting part of the family. He is developing more personality everyday and is more curious than before. He needs to have his balls cut though. He has little fits of craziness here and there but he is also taking long naps which is nice. He isnt so much just a cute kitten anymore, hes developing adult cat qualities.
Brent just came home and packed me a bowl and so my writing may get a little messy or confusing.
I'm really starting to plan more for Yosemite and talking to more people about it. I have a handfull of people interested in riding and I hope my friend Derrick will film it. (Nigel looks like a leopard of sorts right now, hes hugging my leg and trying to eat the computer screen.) I have kind of rethought out the route too. Instead of going through the middle of the state I want to ride up the 1 highway along the coast and cross over from santa cruz. This will take a week to do if we can ride 100 miles a day, I dont really think this would be that hard to do. 50 miles takes probably 3-4 hours. If we split that into a morning ride and evening ride, taking a lunch inbetween...that should be easy. The only real issue I can find with the plan is when I want to go. Coachella music festival is right before I want to leave, the 18th-20th of april...somewhere around there. I would love to be in Yosemite on my birthday which is the 5th of may but If I cant so more people can go then I will do the trip later.
So now Adaline is home and I think she wants her computer and so I end this long blog post.
NYE was a wild blast. The party started off kinda weird, Brent was in North Carolina but 3 of his friends showed up early. They were drunk already for the most part and unfortunatley just did not blend in well with the rest of the crowd. There was one guy who was the most ridiculous. He had this odd 30something rockabilly/bro thing going on. ADD was something he never got undercontrol in his earlier life. They left after they had a few shots of my buddys whisky and took a couple beers without asking.
The rest of the night was interesting and I dont remember much. Everyone enjoyed themselves, some a little too much and the last people left at 7:30 in the morning. I woke up next to Michael Miler which was a little weird but I was so hungover I couldnt care. Later in the afternoon all the stragglers woke up and we smoked on the balconey. This balconey will be in my dreams when I am 80, its got such character and unique view that I will never forget. After smoking herb we found scattered around the house we all passed out again on my mega-bed and woke up around 5:30. Michael, Anthony and I proceeded to drive downtown to get my paycheck. After going on a citywide search looking for a moneytree that was open we conceeded and went to Buenas Dias. Good god that was the best burrito ever. Shannanana was with us and so we went back to my place where we hung out with Joey and the kids, I think Thomas may have come over too but my memory is a little shakey.
After New Years I got a promotion at work to "keyholder". Its kind of a glorified, higher paid cashier position but I am excited anyways. Its guaranteed 40 hours which is important and exciting. A couple days ago Emily and I figured out a real working budget and I am determined to follow it. It looks comfortable and safe, something I havent felt with finances in a long time.
Nigel is becoming a really interesting part of the family. He is developing more personality everyday and is more curious than before. He needs to have his balls cut though. He has little fits of craziness here and there but he is also taking long naps which is nice. He isnt so much just a cute kitten anymore, hes developing adult cat qualities.
Brent just came home and packed me a bowl and so my writing may get a little messy or confusing.
I'm really starting to plan more for Yosemite and talking to more people about it. I have a handfull of people interested in riding and I hope my friend Derrick will film it. (Nigel looks like a leopard of sorts right now, hes hugging my leg and trying to eat the computer screen.) I have kind of rethought out the route too. Instead of going through the middle of the state I want to ride up the 1 highway along the coast and cross over from santa cruz. This will take a week to do if we can ride 100 miles a day, I dont really think this would be that hard to do. 50 miles takes probably 3-4 hours. If we split that into a morning ride and evening ride, taking a lunch inbetween...that should be easy. The only real issue I can find with the plan is when I want to go. Coachella music festival is right before I want to leave, the 18th-20th of april...somewhere around there. I would love to be in Yosemite on my birthday which is the 5th of may but If I cant so more people can go then I will do the trip later.
So now Adaline is home and I think she wants her computer and so I end this long blog post.
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